I studied the laws of the universe over twenty years ago but didn't truly live them for two decades.
My childhood BEst friend Lena gave me Abraham Hicks meditations on the Law of Attraction, and I did the meditations almost daily. I've always been spiritually inclined, and I've always had a thirst for growth and expansion. While I did journal daily, I wasn't doing a dedicated energy practice to call in the things I deeply desired. Sure, I was manifesting (we all are). I just wasn't creating on purpose.
Then came 2024.
Perimenopause put a magnifying glass on every part of my life I wasn't happy with, and what I saw underneath it was ugly. I was working insane hours and on tasks that I should absolutely not be managing as the Founder. Crazy hours and never feeling not only accomplished but like I could do anything particularly well. Trying new things, none working really well. I was on every dating app and going on multiple dates, most highly unfulfilling, it felt like a job to keep up with the messages. I said no to almost everything I actually loved out of guilt for not working. I wasn't paying myself. And somewhere in the middle of all that I started to really hate the business I'd built and given 8.5 years to.
At the end of that year I was in California with my adopted parents, and one morning I was alone on the beach with a coffee in my hand, and I started sobbing. Out loud. To God, Buddha, nature, the Universe, whoever was listening.
"Why can't I manifest anything I desire? Why do I feel like nothing I do is working? There is nothing left in me. I've got nothing left in the tank. Something has to change and you have to show me how."
And instead of answers, I had to go to the bathroom. LOL.
So I walked back up to the coffee shop and couldn't find one, went upstairs, wandered around, and kept accidentally walking behind a woman who was filming herself on her iPhone. I apologized for ruining her video and asked where the bathroom was. She told me there wasn't one, I'd have to go down to the pier.
Then I did something unusual. I asked her what she was filming.
She said she was a coach. I asked what kind. She said, "I'm a manifestation coach," and her name was Alleah.
My eyes filled up immediately with tears (which honestly is not hard for me). I told her I had literally just been on the beach asking God why I'm not good at manifesting.
She looked at me and said, "Well, I think you're pretty fucking good."
So we laughed. I knew I liked her if she cursed. I asked her for her information, and she actually has a large following on Instagram, and I downloaded her free manifestation meditation. Three weeks later, I joined her program, and she has changed my life since.
Here's what I understand now that I didn't understand standing on that beach. So much of life is less about doing and more about attracting. Less about chasing and more about creating. I didn't arrive at that through wisdom. I arrived at it BEcause I had nothing left in me. There were no more hours in the day for me to push harder. It isn't about efforting more. It's about your energy, and everything is energy.
Alleah already knew the laws of the Universe. What she taught me was how to live inside them daily, how to hone the practice so that I'm purposely creating what I desire instead of hoping or pushing, pushing, pushing. And then, it's about BEcoming the person who can receive those manifestations, who can hold them so they don't disappear.
What she showed me was a simple daily practice where I really focus on calling in my desires. I have two manifestation sheets. I break them into different buckets relating to relationships, work, personal growth, health, and wealth. I focus on the feeling that I believe I would have once I have manifested the items on that sheet. I think about how it would feel to be living in those manifestations.
What's shown up since is not what I expected.
There's an ease to my days now that wasn't there in 2024. I called in better talent and better leaders. I manifested my house remodel down to the specific contractor I wanted, and I manifested the whole thing going smoothly, which anyone who has remodeled a house will tell you is the real miracle. Personal money situations improved.
And I manifested making out with someone for two hours. Just kissing. That was on the list and it worked, and I'm not sorry.
Then there are the little ones you start noticing. A call about a national TV show. A random check from the IRS showing up in the mail. Small dancing things that arrive and keep arriving, and once you're paying attention you start to see how related they all are.
Almost everything I call in now is ease and flow rather than how hard it makes me work. I spent most of my life believing, and I am still unraveling this, that if it isn't hard, I didn't work enough for it, or that I have to work hard in order to receive something. I'm still rewiring both my nervous system and my neuropathways to believe otherwise.
If you want to see how Alleah does this, she's at @law_of_attraction_with_alleah and she's phenomenal.
We are all powerful manifesters. Every single one of us. We have the ability to create all that we desire. But we all...often effort our way to manifestations, or we focus so much on what's not there...that the Universe can only bring more of "not thereness." If you feel you're in that place...maybe a manifestation practice will inspire you. Either way...I want all of you to have your deepest desires, whatever that may BE.
BE Well,
Jen xxx
P.S. I know that deepest desire is a pantry full of JBK tortillas, I know, I know xxxx